Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Letter from a Weather-Worried Lady (10.5.08)

The Letter:
Dear Weather Channel,

I have heard that there's going to be a landslide in this nation.  I keep watching your channel but I'm not seeing any reporting on that.  Could you please give me some information here?  I'd like to know where it's expected to occur and what people should be doing to prepare.  Do we need to evacuate?  Where to?  Does FEMA know about this?  Where's it coming?  Or going?  And what should I do?  I know sometimes you hear these paranoid stories.  But this one seems to everywhere.  Except on the weather channel.

Your faithful viewer.
The Answer:
Dear Faithful viewer:

We at the weather channel have heard this rumor as well.  We're investigating.  Rest assured that our reporters are on the scene, even if FEMA fails again.

Here's a suggestion.  A long time ago, Paul Revere made a famous ride.  The British were coming.  They didn't know when or how.  But when the word came, it came by lantern.  And Paul Revere waited for the lantern signal:  "One if by land.  Two if by sea."

Based upon current conditions, and our up to the minute radar, satellite, temperature, blood pressure, and wind information, and considering that we're forecasting a month in advance here, this is what we're currently expecting:
One by Land.  (Gigantic Landslide)

Two by Sea. (Tsunamis)
And we're not talking "if" but "when."  You can expect the Landslide on Nov. 4.  And the Tsunamis that same night.  The landslide is expected through the greater part of the mainland.  And the Tsunamis on both coasts.  The conditions are already apparent in some states.   Post Offices are reporting higher than usual activity.  And local municipalities as well.  Seismic activity is currently greatest on the surface.  But building by the day.  This activity is expected to surge as the month of October goes on.  As you know Tsunamis are caused by seismic activity deep underground.  That underground activity is harder to measure.  But rest assured.  Your weather channel professionals are monitoring conditions.   Currently we expect huge seismic moves on Nov 4HUGE!  These moves appear to be gathering steam simultaneously on both coasts.  And working toward the middle (the so-called "independents")  Now, once the seismic activity gets going, there is no going back.  Indeed, there is already evidence that this is now inevitable.  Tsunamis of gigantic proportions are expected to follow, within several hours of the seismic activity's cessation in municipalities across the land.  The Landslide is expected to occur at the same moment.  Even low lying areas will be affected.  Your only hope of avoiding the landslide or the Tsunami is to evacuate to the Red Areas on the enclosed map, keeping in mind that these Red Areas are shrinking daily, even hourly.

As for what to do after the Landslide/Tsunami events.  Hmmmmm.....  Do not expect FEMA to give you any assistance.  Turn to your neighbors for that.  Indeed neighborliness is likely to break out.  Even partying might occur.  These are strange weather conditions coming.  Euphoria is expected in some quarters.  Depression in others.  We at the Weather Channel highly recommend that you stick with the euphoric element in your community.

Further Bulletins will be issued as conditions warrant.  Thank you for contacting the Weather Channel.


Comments (18)

Hat tip to Lali, who asked for this post.

Fantastic, and very true.

I'm looking forward to these seismic events, but what will be important is how we follow up after they occur. Will we rebuild in exactly the same way things were before, or will we take a breath and think farther into the future than our immediate needs require?
If we treat the benefits of the landslides and tsunamis with the complacency we've exhibited as a country in the last 30 years, by accepting what the Conventional Wisdom tells us to think and do, there will be no long-term improvements.
But if we continue the momentum it required to create these seismic shifts, the tumult will be vindicated and its results will become a new, and more humanistic, norm.
The election isn't the end. It's the beginning of a new phase of work and vigilance. The old guard isn't going to give up just because an election tells them the people aren't happy with what they've done.
Even this economic debacle hasn't made the free-marketers waver in their beliefs that the "market will correct itself" and that government intervention is bad for the economy. That's because THEY are still okay. And they have the money to convince legislators that their way is still the right way, no matter what the evidence shows.
So it's up to us to keep on with our work. It may be a time for celebration after November 4, but in no way will it be a time for further complacency.

How right you are. What I love about Obama's recent ads on the economy, is his underscoring that there is a great deal to do, that passing that bill is only the beginning.
I firmly believe that a landslide will give Obama the engine he needs to start doing exactly as you have laid out. Even his ads where he's seated and talking to us show him as presidential and as having the stature and the persuasive power to ask for sacrifice from the nation.
I completely agree that we need to make sure the momentum of a landslide is not squandered. That the national outpouring of support is harnessed and moves his agenda forward.
I think we all may take a bit of a breather for a month or two after the election and then comes the hard work. Repairing the rule of law. Digging into the crimes. Passing breakthrough legislation for health care and regulations to make sure corporations and financial institutions and lobbyists are not running the show or writing the laws.
Good to see you, dear Facilitatrix! Did you catch my blog from yesterday? Click my name and scroll down to the "Joy of a Sentence..." You may enjoy it!

I did see your post yesterday, enjoying and recommending it.
But I need to be a little less optimistic than you about taking any time off. The other side will not be taking any holidays. They are already working on ways to undermine Obama and the expected increase in the congressional Democratic majority.
I see our role as twofold: to support Obama as he implements the policies he has promised and to hold him to those promises.
I realize that this economic debacle has changed things radically, but the push needs to start even now to force Congress into applying that tiny little option of stock injection that was slipped into the last iteration of the bailout bill. Bush and Paulson can do a lot of damage in the short time they're still calling the shots, and Congress must speak out—with Obama as their voice, before he moves from the legislative to the executive branch—and force Paulson to implement that option.
Unless that happens, those many billions of dollars will see no return for the taxpayers, but that 1% will, again, get all the marbles. Only with stock injection will taxpayers and the government be stakeholders in these failing banks, rather than the patsies Paulson and his banking buddies want us to be. We will need that money for Obama to follow through with his proposals.
So, as tired as I am—emotionally and physically—from this roller coaster of a campaign, I'm going to do my best to keep the pressure on the new president and the more-secure Congress.

Ok. Thanks for the heads-up. No time off for me then!
Maybe you want to consider writing a blog or two about that. If you give me warning, I can not only rec, but put out the word as well. As you can see from comments here, Liam is always a good person to forewarn about posts. That will help get out the word.
Thanks for your comments.
And peace. Healing as well.
avatar oh thats great and so true we are heading for a big time landslide on nov 4
avatar "Pitbull Palin Mauls McCain"
That is the title of the latest column from the great Frank Rich.
It is a must read. Here is the link. Got to it, and then click recommend, so that many more readers get to enjoy Mr. Rich's great writing. Thanks.

I read him every Sunday! Sometimes I can't wait for the paper and I read it on the web. Rich is s former theater critic. So he has this wonderful sense of how things "play."
avatar I guess it would help if I gave you the link to the blog, so you can click recommend. Sorry for the mix up.
avatar The Scream.
avatar TheraP
The caption is my take on this image.

Piss/Poor 2008BC

Actually, those captions originally came from Alaska. The mudflats blogs pictures from the first free-Alaska, anti-Palin demonstration. They're on their third one as of Saturday!
avatar I mean the "Piss/Poor 2008BC" caption.

Ok. Sorry.
Liam, you are working so hard here. Don't go off the deep end!
avatar Why would you say that. I am not sure what you are referring to. What am I missing, that makes you think that I am going off the deep end? Thanks.

You're posting so many thing, that's all. Sorry, did not mean to imply anything. Other than that you're working really hard and try not to overdo it.
Peace, buddy.
avatar Not to worry. That stuff flows spontaneously for me. It just comes in a instant, and without any drafting. I just check back, now and then, and write what ever comes to mind.
I just watched a new Simpsons episode with Dennis Leary, a pretty good one, I must say.
I thought that Gabriel Byrnes had given me bad advice, at the end of the session, when he said: Liam; always go off the deep end, the shallow end is for shallow people. Here I was hoping you could provide me with some reasons to sue him for malpractice.

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